brightly colored backpacks

Driving to class the other night i intently listened to NPR radio. i caught the end of an interview/story on citizenship and education in our country....

A man had come to our country to work to support his family. He worked hard and sent the money home, while he lived alone near his job. He dreamt of higher education. Upon completing high school level education and applying to colleges, he was accepted to a couple. Yet the system stood in his way. Although he was a legal citizen and had all his papers, there was some red tape bullshit about his visa being processed, which would end up taking a few years, and would prevent him from receiving any financial aid. A vision of loneliness was painted in my mind at hearing his tale; he so wanted to better himself. but setting an example for his children and gaining financial opportunity was a dream so close but so far. the interviewer described how everyday the man worked at the top of a tall building right next to a community college, and how he watched the students walking around campus with their brightly colored backpacks.........

i envisioned the backpack as a symbol of education, and began to think about how much some people take it for granted. as i wait for my own school monies to come in, and think about this semester and the one to follow (which will be my last) i wonder what will become of me. life throws so many obstacles that may be seen as a hinderance, may make you want to give up, or may make you try harder. right now my biggest obstacle is living off of campus, not always having a babysitter but constantly needing to get to the internet. and of course being poor is a given. i just cant wait to get my film in the mail, so i can begin shooting more and taking out my frustration through my camera. though i sometimes feel uninspired, unmotivated or disheartened (is that a word??), i am so grateful to have my "brightly colored backpack".

all this writing is now making me feel inspired............